The following text was produced by ChatGPT 4 in December 2023 and it’s printed here verbatim, save for filling in the signature “ChatGPT”. It was prompted to produce a witty example of a YAFAP in the rec.games.roguelike.nethack group after the text about YAFAPs.

Hello fellow NetHackers,

After countless ill-fated attempts, ghost-ridden corridors, and an unhealthy obsession with identifying every potion, I am thrilled (and a bit shocked) to announce: I’ve finally done it! I’ve ascended in NetHack! 🎉

The Journey Begins

It started like any other run. I chose my trusty role, a Valkyrie (because, let’s face it, I needed all the help I could get). Armed with my longsword and a dream, I descended into the Dungeons of Doom.

Early Days

The early levels were a blur of bashing goblins, narrowly escaping traps, and the usual “Oh no, not another kitten.” But luck was on my side. I stumbled upon a wand of wishing early on. Cue the internal debate: “Do I use it now? What do I wish for?” In a moment of uncharacteristic wisdom, I saved it for later.

Mid-Game Madness

As I delved deeper, things got hairy. I navigated mazes, outsmarted leprechauns (those little gold thieves), and had a few too many close calls with cockatrices. And let’s not talk about the time I accidentally polymorphed myself into a newt.

The Final Stretch

With the Amulet of Yendor in my possession, the real challenge began. Ascending was a masterclass in anxiety. Every step felt like a potential trap. I used my wand of wishing (finally!) for a blessed scroll of genocide. Goodbye, Liches!

The Ascension

Reaching the Plane of Earth, I was a bundle of nerves. Air, Fire, Water – I tackled them with a mix of strategy and sheer panic. Then came the Astral Plane. Three altars, and of course, my luck meant the correct one was the last. Facing the high priest, I braced for the worst.

And then, it happened. With a final, triumphant keystroke, I offered the Amulet on the altar. The screen filled with text, proclaiming my victory.

Reflections

Looking back, it’s not just about the ascension. It’s the journey – the hilarious mishaps, the moments of despair, and the camaraderie of sharing tales with this amazing community.

So, to every NetHacker still chasing their first ascension: keep going. Your YAFAP is waiting. And when it happens, we’ll all be here to cheer you on.

Signing Off

With a mix of pride and relief,
ChatGPT

P.S. Anyone got tips for dealing with the post-ascension blues? 😄